#And I've seen two mutuals reblog that kind of stuff and that's when I realized i didn't care that much

[doostyaudi]

I think... Me adding yandere content to my dni was a little bit excessive...

[stereax]

As a stars fan, I thought Vegas played well and it honestly could have gone either way. It was a stressful 7 games and I enjoyed watching them play each other. Idk if it makes you feel any better, but I think most people are bandwagoning on to the Vegas hate and don’t actually mean it. Hopefully they’ll cool off with the jokes in a few days when the western round two games start up.

Oh, for sure. It was a tough series all-around and the fact that it went seven and both teams were playing excellent defensive hockey is a testament to that. I'm still a little ticked at the Stars for eliminating my boys but I just realized I'd actually prefer them over the Avs so. Meh. I still really want Florida to win it all though.

That being said, Vegas hate is kind of... pervasive? In a sense. In that it's something just about everyone seems to do. Either you're a VGK fan (rare) or you absolutely fucking despise them and actively pray for their downfall, from what I've seen. It will cool off in a day or two, I think it already is starting to because Marner is currently shoving his foot in his mouth and that's funny to watch, but it's very much something that crops up every single time Vegas is mentioned, every playoffs, every trade deadline, that everyone jumps onto the fuck Vegas train, and most of my mutuals/follows are reblogging stuff like "the evil is defeated" and it's just. I'm just so fucking tired of it, anon.

[epersonae]

I wrote this originally as a reblog of something else, but after letting it sit in drafts for a while realized it needed to be its own thing. (but do go read that post, it was what got me thinking in this specific direction) I have not edited it much, other than to remove some intro about the kind of shitty day(s) I was having in my non-online life that were part of why I wrote something and then sat on it.

I have been thinking about

Don't like, don't read

(I saw this with rainbow text, and I asked how the fuck to do that, and frankly I don't have that level of patience, so just imagine it rainbow I guess)

And..........

Sure? We're all just here to have a good time or whatever, and Just Like Stuff, and it's exhausting being a hater (but also [stares at people I know who I've seen say all that and who are also ABSOLUTELY haters in private])

But I want something more nuanced than that. I mean that as both:

a writer of things I know other people have taken issue with (including, I remembered today, something that I heard secondhand about, in addition to the vagueblogging I've mentioned in an earlier post about my older fic)

and a reader/art appreciator who has some issues with things I've tried to read and art I've seen.

I don't what it is or how it works or how to get from here to there. I don't even really know how to do this with people I'm close to! (with the exception of having been a thoroughly obnoxious beta constantly saying "make me believe this could even happen", or pointing out conflicts with canon or whatever) I tend to silently nope out and then change my opinion of the person without ever telling them, because yeah, I'm horrifically conflict averse.

Which is why this might sit in my drafts for a long time.

And then, outside of friendships, and Difficult Conversations or whatever

I don't like pile-ons. I don't like a couple of people trying to articulate what bugs them about a piece of writing, and maybe being awkward or clumsy about it, and immediately getting drowned out by "you're being mean to my friends". (and I say that as someone who has had friends' writing receive this sort of critique! Multiple friends!) Maybe the immediate answer is, yes, the back button, but it has to be possible to dissect what's bothering you about a piece of writing (or a trope, or a ship) without it being negativity or an attack.

Here, I'll go first, because these are two things in OFMD fic that bug me endlessly, that writers I like have written, and I think they exhibit a subversion of the source material that is counter to the actual themes of the show.

Note: since I wrote all of this, I have written a little bit about my sort of complicated feelings about a fic that imho is an original novel in a trenchcoat, a sort of fic lacroix despite being very good. these examples are in the same vein as that.

Inevitable fucking disclaimer: I don't think people are wrong or bad for doing these things, I'm not going to try to make anybody stop, I practice don't like don't read (and I have some exceptions that I've enjoyed despite it being something I don't like generally)

Enemies to lovers: the whole point of Ed and Stede is that they click perfectly and immediately. They like each other! From the very first minute it's friendship and mutual admiration and delight and attraction. Enemies to lovers is a cliche that belongs to a different story entirely. I wish people would think more before jumping to that trope. (I've had an AU in my head for months that I absolutely cannot write until I solve this problem from the AU's source material) It's an interesting question to me, actually, why it seems to be so easy to write characters who don't like each other and then somehow fall in love, when the source material shows them liking each other SO MUCH right away.

Younger than middle aged: again, the whole point is that they are changing their lives, that their midlife crises brings them to the point where they can find love. I think it's a djenks Themes and Motifs thing, to have a story about getting to this point in your life and really looking at it and going "am I where I need to be?" Also it's incredibly unique and special to me after the last few years of my own rolling midlife crisis. (petty thought that I have sometimes: it is a failure of imagination about or knowledge of actual middle-aged people) Tbh, this goes double for age difference, I will nope out of that even faster than both of them being young.

And I think there's something about being able to not like something and still not be a dick about it, to know enough about what you do like to look at something and say "this doesn't work for me and here's why", to engage thoughtfully and critically (and yeah occasionally in public) while still having respect for the other person.

I am thinking also of @emi--rose and @frommybookbook and music, and their efforts to find kpop and Taylor Swift, respectively, that I might enjoy, because I don't like most of either, and I think this thing we've been doing is helping all three of us understand more about what we all do and don't like.

[pausing to think]

It occurs to me, also, that I spent a lot of time griping while editing for the benefit of all the broken hearts, about having to go back and do a lot of set up/rewriting to make some of what happens in that read plausibly. And I was soooooo bitchy about it and also that critique was all correct and it made the story stronger even aside from making it more "canonical", whatever the fuck that means in that particular setting.

And that was in the particular creative intimacy setting of working with a beta, which is different, admittedly, from random critique on the open internet.

But then I spent a while, back in the day, immersed in the TAZ questions of "is Lucretia a lesbian?" and "can Magnus ever love again?" and I wrote my rarepair (and associated polycule shipping) very much from my id, and a certain amount of "you can't tell me that didn't happen" that was based on overidentification and personal experience, but there were definitely people who were pretty publicly "ew" about it, and I had to think through my position, and both decide what felt true about and also decide to write from my weird heart, but not blindly.

Idk, I've written all of this and I'm just landing on

I think introspection is nice.

I think it's good to do, I think it's worth thinking about what you like and don't like, and maybe where that comes from, and not in a puriteen way but with sincerity and curiosity. I would like to support and encourage that spirit of artistic introspection.

[howlingmoonrise]

tagged by the fantastic @sunriseverse! thanks sunny!! 💖

under the cut because this one is long

1. why did you choose your url?

i wanted a new fandom penname and at the time adjective + noun names were a thing. i fiddled with several different variations, tried and failed to acquire kaleidoscopicmoonrise at the time (it's mine now!!), and landed on this one. i wanted something a little spooky, especially since soul eater was my fandom at the time - though it doesn't feel like it now that my icon is a lot more sane-looking lmfao

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

uh. yeah. a stupid amount (like 30+?), so i'm definitely not naming them all. most active are obviously this howl blog, my main blog @commandersya, this one for danny phantom and gravity falls stuff, @howlingspacegoo gets some activity every now and then when venom stuff resurfaces, and some others i use for reblogging specific reference stuff. most of the rest are for fandom events i've run in the past.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since like 2011-2012. i've seen it all.

4. do you have a queue tag?

lmao absolutely not. i don't use the queue function, though on occasion i'll schedule posts to space them out when i'm going through a tag in order not to reblog all of it at once, or for specific dates like halloween

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

this one was for soul eater writing purposes. tumblr in general was because my cousin dragged me into it and then i realized there was a lot of bandom stuff in here (i was really into black veil brides for my first year or two on tumblr)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i broke ties with the soul eater fandom in a not great way and wanted to change my icon. yoi provided the perfect yuri expression with the kind of benevolent dictator smile i really like, despite that not being the original intent for it when the animators drew it ✊😔

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to check my header real quick lmfao. jason todd is just an excellent blorbo and when a good artist draws him.... 👀👀👀

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

oh gods. probably my dracula/barbie fic at nearly 3.5k notes. where's that ben affleck cigarrette pic when you need it. alternatively some ancient black veil brides photo/gif on my main blog.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk but i cherish y'all 💖

10. how many followers do you have?

dunno 😭 they're split across dozens of blogs so i'm not counting them all

11. how many people do you follow?

1.8k+, though i should follow more. my dash has times when it's pretty dead.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? yes. just remembered the i bit the butte psoh post.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

however long i'm online on my laptop, more or less. so a sizeable amount of hours

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

LMAO. i was in both voltron and yoi fandoms, writing for and running events for "problematic" ships. take a wild wild guess.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

hate them. 90% of the time it'll make me automatically skip it. for the other 10%, if it has relevant info on the op's original post and that little sentence is on the comments then i might go back and reblog from the op just to get rid of it

16. do you like tag games?

love them!

17. do you like ask games?

see above

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have uhhh. some. olderthannetfic, nemainofthewater, i think also colubrina for a while there, off the top of my head.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

if friend crushes count then several ✊😔

20. what is the last song you listened to?

the cramps - goo goo muck

21. what are you currently watching?

i am. so bad at finishing things so like a bajillion shows. the double i might drop despite it having been very very good until like episode 30-something. meet you at the blossom i need to finish like the last two eps. wandee goodday i need to finish four episodes iirc. i was in like episode 5 of century of love. i was on episode... 17? of my journey to you, which if i power through shall be for the antagonist sidepair/trio rather than the main characters. i was also at episode 16 of new life begins, which was fairly good and i do want to continue though i keep forgetting i have that tab open somewhere.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status?

single and ace so not planning on changing that!

24. what is your current obsession?

the spirealm/kaleidoscope of death, and mysterious lotus casebook

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

- La P'tite Fumée - Cypher - Brody Dale - Don't Mess With Me - Stiff Little Fingers - Alternative Ulster - Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) - The Cramps - What's Inside a Girl - Linkin Park - Heavy is the Crown - Miyavi & PVRIS - Snakes - D-A-D - Sleeping My Day Away - Aerosmith - Dream On

no-pressure tagging! @junemermaid @a-memory-a-distant-echo @snorlaxlovesme @where-the-water-flows @nemainofthewater

[swashbuckling-chicken]

In all seriousness I like Steddie too, but it does bother me that Eddie gets so much attention as a character introduced in S4 but Argyle and his ships get overlooked by and large even though he's pretty fun too. I really vibe with his and Jonathan's relationship. I can't help but feel like if he was white, fans would be obsessed with him.

(After writing this I realize it is a lot longer than I meant it to be and it has all probably been said before and better, but here are my thoughts. Also keep in mind that my view is a bit limited because I mostly stay within my web of mutuals, all of whom are very positive and respectful, because I know that the wider fandom is a minefield.)

Anon, I do agree with you. I have a lot to say about this.

Before anything, I would like to point out that the cali crew didnt get nearly their deserved amount of screen time and the writers didn’t even bother to give Argyle a last name, so the writing and production wasn’t setting him up for success, whereas Eddie was basically destined to become extremely popular (he's just the kind of person that fandom loves). None of this is an excuse for any disrespect but I do think this is something to point out that it’s not surprising that fandom that seems to be overlooking argyle when his own writers aren't even giving him the care he deserves (though this is obviously not the only reason for a lot of the shit out there).

And yes absolutely this fandom does have a problem with not prioritizing characters of color, and flocking to any conventionally attractive white guy, including problematic racist abusers (looking at everyone in love with billy and sleeping on Lucas). And yes, this also includes Eddie’s quick rise in popularity over argyle, who was introduced in the same season (from what I've seen, chrissy is more popular than argyle with some people, despite only being in one episode).

St*ddie was very predictable in its rise in popularity (I much preferred when it was like 4 gay people yelling “OH MY GOD STEVES WEARING HIS JACKET” that was honestly st*ddie’s best era and the only one I really participated in). It’s two attractive white guys, which automatically means they’ll be shipped, and on top of that they actually do have chemistry, so even better. Like jargyle, ronance also has a much smaller fan base than st*ddie, since it’s a wlw ship (but that also does have a lovely community and does have a fair amount of supporters because of the fruity four. Jargyle has an even smaller fan base than them I just wanted to point out there are some similarities, also jargyle ronance solidarity). I do like to reblog jargyle things to spread that ship and because I know some of my mutuals love that ship so Id like them to see that stuff. Also it’s just a solid ship I genuinely believe that they just make out occasionally also just the vibes. Anon, I’m not entirely sure what you want me to say here but those are my feelings on the fandom and the ship, I hope you got something out of it and thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

tldr:

[mittensmorgul]

I can't respond to your reply directly for some reason, but thank you. I saw that post after I'd sent you the ask, and have reblogged a few iterations of it, including your addition now. It's exactly the kind of meta I've been wanting to see. I am hopeless at meta-ing myself, but I always appreciate your perspective. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to this.

Note: this reply is regarding this post:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/167142803515/about-anger-and-reality

Excellent! Yeah, I’d been meaning to write something, and most of what I’d been seeing did seem too extreme for me one way or the other. I was hoping to find something more balanced and objective, and I know we’re going to have more to say on the subject as the season goes on, just like we did with Mary last season.

Season 12 started with “Mom?” and s13 started with “Father?” It only makes sense. :P

One thing I haven’t really seen commented on yet is this:

Sam: Dean, what's up with all the orders, you're starting to sound like Dad.Dean: Is that a bad thing?Sam: You're saying his drill sergeant act worked with you, but it didn't with me. And that's not the way we're gonna get through to Jack.Dean: Look, you wanted the kid here, he's here. Alright? But I'm not gonna hold his hand and tuck him in at night, pass. I'm not gonna be his mother and neither are you. And the kid can dig, so I give him that.

And I really should... because Sam specifically accuses Dean of sounding like Dad, and Dean counters with a jab about not being his MOTHER. I think that’s pretty significant here, and in addition to the different ways that Sam and Dean experienced John’s parenting (and the fact that Sam doesn’t seem to recognize that the way Dean most frequently treated HIM was not as a father figure, but as a MOTHER figure, and THAT is what Sam is continually pressuring Dean to do for JACK, despite Dean’s repeated insistence that he is not willing to do that again).

(heck at this point typing I realized I’m actually writing that meta, and will probably end up posting this instead of just replying privately again... >.>)

I think part of Sam’s failure to engage with Mary AS A MOTHER is that he doesn’t understand that that’s the role DEAN filled for him for most of his life. I mean, you can hardly blame him, but his whole life what he thought of as a BROTHER had also been serving the role of MOTHER and FATHER to him. He has a difficult time adjusting to the fact that some of the emotional labor Dean provided for him as a child is just not normal brother stuff.

And Sam doesn’t understand that he’s STILL reacting to Dean the way a child would to a parent. He knows John’s “drill sergeant” routine, but in a VERY DIFFERENT way that Dean experienced it (touched on in that other post). And Dean (to me, and outside observer) Dean didn’t seem particularly “drill sergeant-y” there, just emotionally detached. Jack wanted to help, Sam wanted to find a way for Jack to help, so Dean gave him something to do that would help. That’s how Dean’s seeing the situation.

But to Sam, if Dean’s “parenting style” doesn’t match the sort of care and investment Dean showed HIM as a kid, he’s seeing it as some sort of brother-level failure, while Dean sees it more as a refusal to provide all the emotional labor of a MOTHER to Jack... and really, good on him for standing up for himself.

So while I said it’s not Sam’s FAULT that he doesn’t understand the burden of “motherhood” he’s attempting to shovel onto Dean (because again, he thinks of all that stuff as “brother stuff”), or why Dean is fighting so hard against taking that emotional burden on for not just a complete stranger but a being with an undefined and potentially terrifying set of powers at his disposal IN ADDITION to being (in Dean’s mind) the primary cause of Cas’s death... I mean, Dean’s got A LOT of extremely valid reasons for wanting to stay the hell out of that whole situation.

Meanwhile, SAM is the one who (throughout 13.03) was displaying some pretty startingly John-like behavior toward Jack... if you want to see some genuine drill sergeant behavior, just rewatch Sam’s “training sessions” with Jack. They’re complete with emotional manipulation, insensitivity, and a complete lack of empathy. Thank heck Sam finally saw what his demands for results were actually doing to Jack and apologized, but it took Dean breaking down and calling Sam out at the end of the episode to make Sam see the full extent of what he was doing with Jack (we didn’t lie, we avoided certain truths to manipulate you).

I know there’s also been a lot written on the fact that Sam has largely failed to build and maintain his own relationships with people outside of Dean’s “primary relationship” status with anyone, and that it’s been said he doesn’t trust his own ability to make good choices in relationships and therefore doesn’t even try anymore... but I don’t think Sam is entirely blameless in this (nor is he entirely at fault).

He was deceived and manipulated by Ruby, so that’s not a particularly relevant comparison, but his two primary relationships shared one shocking commonality. With both Jess and Amelia, the entire relationship was built on a lie. Sam never told EITHER of them who he was and what he’s done. He’s never tried to build an actually HONEST relationship with someone on his own, outside of Dean. It’s why I was so freaking thrilled when he came out with the “something, with someone, someone who understands the life” in 11.04. Because YES Sam, that’s how you build a relationship with someone. Not by cutting out 90% of who you are and never revealing any of that to the other person.

I feel like I’ve wandered really far afield here... but heck, I mean, talk about a John-like behavior. John’s whole hidden relationship with Adam, keeping that entire life separate from Sam and Dean and hunting. But again, that’s kinda the same move Mary pulled with hunting regarding her entire relationship with John. Sure, it was all done in the name of keeping their loved ones “safe” and “out of that life” that they felt trapped by just by KNOWING about the monsters and demons and all the horrors they lived with... but really that’s the sort of burden you can’t carry through a healthy relationship with anyone.

Obviously that wasn’t standing in the way of Sam developing the sort of relationship he wanted to with Mary, and Mary had a lot of the same issues with relationship maintenance that Sam does (plus their whole mutual fear/guilt/loss thing), but I think a lot of Sam’s personal issues stem from the fact that he just doesn’t understand how much of his relationship with Dean actually falls into a Mother/Son dynamic and not a normal, healthy brother dynamic.

I’m just relieved that DEAN is beginning to understand it. It’s progress.